You Are Stronger Than You Think

So, you want to tackle a new goal, a new project, a new endeavor.....at first there is pure excitement, adrenaline rushing, ideas flowing, and a feeling of "let's do this!"  And almost instantly, the next feeling is that of fear, full on doubt, that you are incapable of making any strides at all in the direction of your goal! How does that happen so quickly and why? Here is my story......

Once upon a time, I turned 30 and I decided on that day, that I wanted to run a marathon before I turned 40. Great! I had a goal, a bucket list dream and I felt ready to take on the world.  Until the next day when I went to lace up my running shoes.  Suddenly, the idea of running a marathon was heavy, and I began to question myself and my sanity! I wasn't new to the world of running, but in the past my typical runs were 3 miles, and 26.2 miles seemed like a mountain that might be out of my reach. So what was going on within me? And how could I overcome the fear and doubt?

New activities spur new doubts

It is natural to experience doubt immediately on the heels of an exciting new prospect, because our brains are wired to warn us about the unknown.  And any new adventure, no matter how exciting it may be, is still new.  Just knowing that this is a natural reaction within our brains, should bring a bit of relief.  The feelings of doubt and even fear, follow the idea of changing your situation in any way, be it good, bad or neutral.  Nice to know, but still we are left wondering........

What does it mean to be stronger than you think?

Perception matters.  If you tell yourself something that you already know to be true from your life experience, you easily believe it.  But, what happens when you ask your mind to believe something that you have not yet experienced? Well, that is when the fear of the unknown rears its head. 

This was the point in my marathon journey where I discovered that before I could run 26.2 miles, I would need to convince my mind and my body that it was possible.  And how would I do that? Not through physical training at this point, but through mindset training and visualization.  So I began to set aside time each day to "train" my brain and see myself running the marathon, easily and gracefully, feeling happy and strong!  I know, it may sound silly, but, it started to make a difference.  I was no longer quite so doubtful.  I could see it happening and as I built that muscle in my mind's eye, I became eager to do the physical training.  I started to believe that it was possible which rewired my previous thought patterns in my brain.

Here is what I learned during my mindset training:

• Physical strength and mental strength are not separate.
• When you build strength in one area, it positively affects the other area.
• Start with the act of building mental strength.
• Mental strength is often more important than physical strength.
• Know that the two work together, and never assume that you only need one or the other.
• Visualization practices enrich your training and conditioning. See it in your mind's eye to believe it.
• If you want to have lasting strength, know that the building process will take time.

How can I be stronger than I think?

Besides the mindset training that was just discussed, the other way that I know of to become stronger than you think, is to practice.  Confidence comes with practice.  Believing in yourself is a process. Committing to something and being consistent is key. 

In my marathon journey, I found a training schedule from a seasoned runner, that built mileage and stamina slowly to prevent injury.  It gave me a step by step recipe for sustainability and success.  It was a road map (pardon the pun!) that I could lean into, especially on the days that I felt like skipping out! And so, I built muscle, endurance and confidence. I felt stronger day by day, bit by bit. No matter what goal you may have, this is the "magic prescription" to reach that result.  It sounds cliche, and it is, but slow and steady wins the race!

Here is what I can say about learning to feel stronger and more confident:

• The small steps get you there, quantum leaps may pull a muscle!
• Slow to go smooth to go fast; slow, smooth, fast is the formula for natural progression.
• Try the 30 day trick- if you can be consistent for 30 days, you will have created momentum.
• Add to that momentum by going for another 30 days, with a new element, like time or distance for example.
• Consistency and momentum are like armor; use them to ward off fatigue and boredom if they arise.
• Don't be surprised if your new found strength and confidence spill over into other areas of your life!
• Mix it up when you need to, and rest days are mandatory.  Recharge.
• Make sure your goals align with your core values, otherwise you will not feel motivated towards them.
• Know your "why" for your goal.

What about when I have tough days and need a pep talk?  Here are 12 quotes to remind you that you're stronger than  you think:

1. "The journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step." -Lao Tzu  (need I say more?)
2. "I seek strength, not to be greater than others, but to fight my greatest enemy, the doubts within myself." -PC Cast
3. "Don't let others tell you what you can't do.  Don't let the limitations of others limit your vision.  If you can remove your self-doubt and believe in yourself, you can achieve what you never thought possible."   -Roy T. Bennett
4. "Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will." -Suzie Kassem
5. "Confront your fear and turn mental blocks into building blocks." -Dr. Roopleen
6. "Don't be satisfied with stories, how things have gone for others.  Unfold your own myth."  -Rumi
7. "Strength grows in the moments when you think you can't go on but you keep going anyway." -Anonymous
8. "Go after what you want, not what you can easily have." -Emma Xu
9. "No one is you and that is your strength." -ourmindfullife.com
10. "Thinking will not overcome fear, but action will." -Clement Stone
11. "Always remember you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, smarter than you think and twice as beautiful as you'd ever imagined.  Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world.  Today I am wise, so I am changing myself." -Rumi
12. "Reach high, for stars lie hidden in you.  Dream deep, for every dream precedes the goal."

         - Rabindranth Tagore

Check out these great resources:

• 'Rising Strong'  by Brene Brown
• 'Grit' by Angela Duckworth
• 'Carry On Warrior' by Glennon Doyle Melton
• 'Presence' by Amy Cuddy
• 'Atomic Habits' by James Clear
• 'Best Self' by Mike Bayer
• 'Strengthsfinder 2.0' from Gallup and Tom Rath
• 'Feeling Strong' by Ethel S. Person

Think strong, feel strong, act strong (habits, behaviors, etc)

I did it!  I completed the marathon! I will not say that I had a smile on my face like I did in my visualization, but I did smile when I saw my family cheering for me, and when I crossed the finish line! My journey was not without roadblocks and obstacles. I had to cross train due to a knee injury and the marathon that I ran was different from the one I originally signed up for.  You see, I planned on running a race sponsored by the American Diabetes Association in Dublin Ireland, at sea level, and ended up running the Lewis and Clark Marathon in Bozeman, Montana at 5400 feet above sea level! But, I committed and followed through, and that in itself felt amazing.  I felt accomplished not just in crossing the finish line, but in each step that it took me to get there.  I have no plans on running another marathon, but I am glad that I aligned with this bucket list item which allowed me to connect with my inner strength and build the rest of the strength that I needed! Life has shown me this is true- we are stronger than we think, in every way possible!